A night went by when there was less sleep and more thoughts....unproductive thoughts rewinding past. As i traveled back i could see moments passing by. I paused at many times trying to enjoy again the what i assumed the best moments of my life and surprisingly these were not as amusing as i expected them to be. Though still good enough to make you smile but lost some of the shine and glitter over the course of time. I was thinking that i will have have to create more newer happy moments to cheer me up. A little bored i moved on and just out of curiosity stopped at some most disastrous moments ...moments i can't think of living again. And shocked.... the intensity of pain and disappointment these moments caused at times has also subsided with time. It was nice realizing how such moments made me stronger, and changed my outlook of life may be a little bit, how i handled situations and what i could do better.
As i moved on the journey back i observed that only moments which are as fresh as ever were those when i had done something to be ashamed of myself. These moment were as bitter and as disgusting as they ever be. I cannot handle looking at me in such a light so i ran away.
As i ran faster and faster images of events started fading away and i was surrounded by faces....faces peeping form gloom like they are from some other life, faces so close to my eyes that its hard to look at. These were people... people i met, people i talked to, i people fought, people i cared for, people i had been cared by, people i loved, people i hated...it was amazing. I tried recalling the reasons why i hated some of them, and you know what, to my astonishment i couldn't find a single one. Agitated and confused i was collecting my guts to talk to them when i felt strong grip of big hands on my arms started to pull me away toward a scary dark place. I wanted to shout and say the faces little things like thanks, sorry, i loved you, i learned from you, you were important to me even if i hated you but i could not speak and the faces were moving fast away from my site and it was dark all around. I collected all my courage and about to shout when i realized it was morning .....i looked at my wife and kid sleeping by me in peace ....i smiled and said Thanks GOD i still have a chance....
As i moved on the journey back i observed that only moments which are as fresh as ever were those when i had done something to be ashamed of myself. These moment were as bitter and as disgusting as they ever be. I cannot handle looking at me in such a light so i ran away.
As i ran faster and faster images of events started fading away and i was surrounded by faces....faces peeping form gloom like they are from some other life, faces so close to my eyes that its hard to look at. These were people... people i met, people i talked to, i people fought, people i cared for, people i had been cared by, people i loved, people i hated...it was amazing. I tried recalling the reasons why i hated some of them, and you know what, to my astonishment i couldn't find a single one. Agitated and confused i was collecting my guts to talk to them when i felt strong grip of big hands on my arms started to pull me away toward a scary dark place. I wanted to shout and say the faces little things like thanks, sorry, i loved you, i learned from you, you were important to me even if i hated you but i could not speak and the faces were moving fast away from my site and it was dark all around. I collected all my courage and about to shout when i realized it was morning .....i looked at my wife and kid sleeping by me in peace ....i smiled and said Thanks GOD i still have a chance....
